HOPE

Hi, I am Melanie, I am Courtland’s mom.

I decided to start this blog because I see so much over the internet (about disabilities) that is just so negative. Plus, I wanted a platform to share our story and journey, and to encourage some of you along the way.

As Courtland began to grow, he was not reaching the expected milestones. To be honest, I just thought he would do things when he was ready…… Deep down, I knew something wasn’t right, but I was in denial. When I finally reached out for help, (and many doctor appointments in between) we were told that Courtland had a rare form of cerebral palsy. I remember that phone call like yesterday, I was relieved that he had a diagnosis, but sad because I suddenly realized that our lives would never be the same.  Courtland was 2 at that time.

Medically speaking, we were told that often, children who do not sit up on their own by age 2, will usually never walk.  I was thankful for the frank discussion with the doctor, and as a parent, you never stop wishing, hoping and praying that that won’t be the case.  BUT, I am also keenly aware of the fact that we can wish, hope and pray all we want, and sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we expect. I wanted so badly for my child to sit up, to talk, to walk, and to be a so-called, “normal” child. I resigned myself to the fact that he might never do some of those things, because I didn’t want to be disappointed.

It has been a long, difficult road. Having a child with a disability is lonely. I confess, with all the love and support from family, I am still lonely. I don’t really have friends, because people who don’t have a child with a disability don’t quite understand our life. (This is not their fault).

By the way, Courtland is now 8, and he does all the things that we never knew he would do. He sits up, he talks and he walks! Our journey is not over just because he has reached these milestones.  There is so much wrapped up in being a parent of a child who has a disability… I know that Courtland will have many difficult days ahead, because that is just life, but we are trying to approach each day with love and grace, and though I look forward to the future, we live one day at a time. Truthfully, I believe many parents with special needs children do that, because getting through today is a coping mechanism- and guess what? It is okay to live for today!